A Mighty Heart -- June 22nd, 2007

Last night I went to see “A Mighty Heart”. This movie tells the story or Daniel and Marianne Pearl. Daniel Pearl was a reporter for The Wall Street Journal who was kidnapped in Pakistan by people who had ties to Al Qaeda. The movie focuses on the efforts to find him and the emotional toll it takes on his wife, Marianne, played by Angelina Jolie. Overall this was an EXCELLENT film; well acted / directed and a very gripping story from beginning to end.

But why focus on the good stuff?

I am tired of Angelina Jolie. I know that everyone is gonna see this movie and rave about her amazing performance and, truth be told, this is the best work I have ever seen her do. But really...c'mon. She's just a total hotty who can kind of act so when she does a movie like this and basically lives up to the storyline, we applaud her abilities and say, "see...she is more than just a pretty face!!" The reality is that she is kind of a crappy actress. Her emotional range is similar to that of a coma patient. Yes, she does have a powerful screaming / crying scene but then, a movie-minute later, she is smiling and laughing with her friends. I am so tired of this chick. I would like her to just be pretty and adopt children. Also, I would like her to take an improv class and see if she can access some sort of sense of humor. In "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", with her hubby, Brad Pitt, she was completely unable to make fun of herself and be goofy. Brad Pitt was not afraid to be a total dork. That's why we love him. He's a hotty and a nerd and cool and fun. He rocks. She sucks. Also, we know she's pretty. We understand that. Can she maybe be a little bit not pretty sometimes? Apparently the answer to that, according to "A Mighty Heart", is no. She can't stop being hot. Go away and be ugly somewhere, Angelina Jolie and if you are going to play a pregnant woman, don't make the pregnancy appear to do nothing to your figure. AngeLAME-a NOlie. YEAH!!! HA HA!! Gotcha!!

The supporting actors were all very good. There was the father from "The Namesake". He was good. There was another dude that looked really familiar. He was good too. The guy who played Daniel Pearl was Dan Futterman, who played the son in "The Birdcage" and wrote the screenplay for "Capote". He is multi-talented. We like him. His mother, Mrs. Futterman, is very proud of him and his ability to rise above his difficult years growing up when all the big kids would call him 'Danny-Fanny Butterpants'. Anyway, in this one he was good and pretty low-key.

I saw this movie in Miami. The movie theater experience was nice. Big seats, stadium seating, not too crowded. However, apparently the seats don't bend backwards in Miami. Strange. Anyway, I guess it made sense to see this movie here because like Angelina, everyone in the theater was better looking than me. Screw them. They are all anti-Semitic.

I give this movie 4 Robbies. The only reason it didn't get five was that Angelina, who truthfully was pretty good in this one, pissed me off (in case you hadn't noticed). If they remake this movie, or any movie for that matter, they should use Bjork instead.