Hostel 2...Hostel Boo -- June 15th, 2007
Here is an original idea for a movie. There are 3 girls / women(?) on a trip in Europe. Two of them are totally hot and the other one is movie unattractive....let's call her 'hugly' (hot/ugly). They are engaging in all kinds of debauchery (a no-no in horror movies). Then, due to their willingness to pursue the sexual advances of non-puritan people, they get into some hot water....literally and figuratively. Some of it leads to death, some to torture, some to revenge. Blah blah blah. Give me a break.
The Hugly chick is played by the one who was in "Welcome to the Dollhouse". Now she is grown up and wonky but she has that model body that all 'hugly' chicks have. Then there are the two other hotties. One is a promiscuous vixen. Guess what happens to her. The other is hot but sensible. Guess what happens to her. Without hearing your guesses, I can tell you that you are correct.
Oh yeah, also...want to find out how creepy Eastern Bloc people can be? See this movie.
When the first Hostel movie came out, they advertised it by highlighting that it was directed by Eli Roth. I remember sitting in the theater, watching the preview and thinking, "Eli Roth...Sounds Familiar...Sounds Jewish...Must be famous". Here's the thing. No one, other than Quentin Tarrantino, knows who Eli Roth is and he is not famous. It just SOUNDS like he's a famous jewish film maker. He's not. He's a douche bag. Don't be fooled. Here are the movies that Eli Roth has directed....Hostel, Hostel 2, The Rotten Fruit and Cabin Fever. Maybe I am being oversensitive here but I think that they are using the jewish sound of his name to make it seem as though there must be depth to this film. Anti-semitic? Maybe. Maybe I am crazy.
Anyway, there are a lot of nasty deaths and lots of people's naughty parts...sometimes attached, sometimes not. It's dumb, lame and predictable. It's my fault though because I made the decision to see it. I don't know why. Also, there was a jerk in the theater who got mad at me when I coughed several times because I had a piece of popcorn caught in my throat. He is also anti-semitic.
I give this movie 2 out of a possible 5 Robbies. And it only gets 2 instead of 1 because there is a character named Paxton, which makes me laugh.
Eli Roth...you suck.
Un-Shalom.
posted by Rob Schiffmann @ 1:30 PM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
Oh Rob Schiffmann. You are sooo funny and witty and awesome.
-- Rob Schiffmann
Oh Rob Schiffmann. You are sooo funny and ... oh, wait. That's been said already.
TOO FUNNY! I laughed, I cried, I howled!
Your mom probably already told you 'debauchery' is the correct spelling. Todd Solonz was the director of Welcome to the Dollhouse. He is Jewish and from NJ.
oh! i really wanted to see it! thankd for the advice! xD see you!
Rob, you are a rabidly anti-semetic cyber-Himmler for seeing Judaism as a factor in the marketing of the "Hostel" series. Oh, and mar, your mom may or may not have already told you that the correct spelling of the name of the director of "Welcome to the Dollhouse" is 'Solondz'. And while Jewish, HE's a total douchebag, which may or may not be more attributable to the fact that he is from NJ. Personally, I think it because he's just a douchebag. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to hear if you think "Optimus Prime...Sounds like a Robot/Truck...Sounds like he's from Outer Space...Must be Jewish.", when the Transformers movie comes out next month.
lollercopters! >;-P
Rob, anti-Semitic is spelled with a lower-case a and an upper-case S. And what's with the header? You go on Friday's? No apostrophe, you illiterate. There's more, but that's enough for today. Anyway, you've certainly improved since I had to edit your papers at St. Ann's Otherwise very funny. Or should I say perspicacious?
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